Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Potty Training Blues

First of all, just so I don't sound like a completely ungrateful human being, please understand - I am extremely proud of LaneBug this week. He started potty training at daycare and he has scored all A's everyday. Today - no accidents at all. I literally started jumping up and down when I saw him the same clothes that I dropped him off in at 7:35 this AM.

The kid is doing an excellent job of grasping the whole concept. We tried potty training a few months ago - he didn't get it - not at all. Per advice of my "experts" at daycare, we dropped it immediately. They told me Friday when I picked him up that they were planning to start this Monday. I laughed - hard. I didn't think he was ready at all.....yeah...don't worry. I am planning on keeping my day job of bean counting because child care is obviously not my area of expertise. Neither is a simple oil change but that is a completely different post for another day. *sigh*

Now, here are the "blues" I am experiencing. He won't potty here at home. Why? Well, I am really not sure. It isn't because I haven't asked about a GAZILLION times that is for sure. You know, being new to this whole potty training thing and having a boy with obviously a very strong Y chromosone, I find it very difficult to distinguish the oh la la - I have a new toy crotch holds from the oh my gosh - I have to tinkle crotch holds. Anyone with some additional info on how to tell the difference between those, please feel free to leave a comment.

So after 2 nights of cleaning really yucky things off my hardwood floors (man, I am really loving those hardwood floors right now!), I just snapped. Why won't he pee pee here at home? What I am doing wrong or different? Why will he pee pee for all the ladies there at daycare but not for his own Mommy?

Then the feeling of guilt starts creeping in - you know what guilt I am talking about - the working Mommy guilt. It is always there lurking around and popping it's ugly head up from time to time. And now, in this situation, it stands out more than ever. Again, don't get me wrong on this. I love my job and I don't desire to stay home with children. But at times like these, I really feel guilty. It is just knowing that my child feels more comfortable at daycare with pottying than he does at home. Is it the peer pressure there at daycare that makes it easier? Everyone lining up and seeing all the others pee pee in the potty; is that why he does it there perfectly?
I don't know. I am really bummed about him not performing here at home but I am thrilled he is doing so well there at daycare.

But honestly, I feel like a failure as a Mommy right now. The rational side of me recognizes that I am not a failure but the other side, the one that strives to be so good at everything - it is really struggling.

Are there worse things? Yes, of course! I am lucky and blessed that this is my biggest worry. But right now, I am really sad about this.


Ursula Page said...

DK - potty training is my very least favorite part of having kids. It is gross and at least with boys, it takes forever. Sterling had the issue with going at daycare and not at home and #2 took forever. A few things to try at home. double up the underwear and he still feels the wetness and less goes on the floor. Also, I took a day off and used a long weekend for potty training boot camp. I hated wasting time off but he needed to be at home dealing with it every minute. we went no where for those days. It worked... Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Well, first of all you shouldn't feel guilty for being a working mom! And secondly, I do think the "peer pressure" at school works. I know girls are different than boys (easier is what I hear), but with the girls we went and made potty visits once an hour and I made them sit on the potty until SOMETHING came out! I know... I know.. they will probably kill me when they develope them "hemis"! heehee

Anonymous said...

Hi DK,

I don't know about daycare peer pressure, but I know when Ayden was going thru this last year, I can truly say that it didn't really matter what we did, he was not going to until he was good and ready. One day it literally just clicked - it was like flipping the switch. He went back there, and I heard some trickling - I accused him of turning on the sink, but no, it was him tinkling in the potty! Just days before his 3rd bday. I really thought I was going to have to buy a wig b/c I was going to pull my hair out. Some days it seemed like he knew what he was doing when he crawled under the coffee table and said No Mama when I asked if he was messing up his pants. It was definitely a long several months (prolonged by birth of Spencer in the middle- whatever you do, try to get that done before any sibs show up;) there were a couple of times when Ayden wanted me to put him in a diaper b/c Spencer was, but thankfully we were able to convince him pretty easily that we needed him to help us change Spencer and he needed to be a big brother.) Also Ayden always did much better for my parents and even for Keith in the evenings, than he would for me during the day, so it just may be something with boys knowing how to push their mothers' buttons.

sorry for the novel in the comments section!

Good luck!